Composing a Life. By Mary Catherine Bateman
Composing a Life. By Mary Catherine Bateman
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0452265053/storycirclenetwo
Mrs. Bateman has a way of writing that comes across as
scholarly and intelligent, and at the same time is
familiar and friendly. She writes and comments of
things we can all associate with. Taken as a
self-help book, I could not agree with many ideas and
ideals that she seems to be presenting. Nor can I
agree with some of her suppositions, that are
sometimes hidden within her stories.
Read as a muse, biography, or just for fun, I found
the content and presentation somewhat entertaining.
However, as she weaves a tale, I found that sometimes
she interjects an allusion, proposition, or conclusion
that is presented to “make sense” based on the facts
presented, but that I really needed to catch myself in
order to realize it is just her opinion, her argument,
and may be very wrong.
The concept of the first chapter takes, to me, the
idea that improvisation should free us from judging
our lives based on society’s ideal of success; and
frees us to decide for ourselves what is fulfilling in
our own lives. I must respectfully point out the
dangers of this thought process.
Pg 2: “Many of the most basic concepts we use to
construct a sense of self or the design of a life have
changed their meanings: Work. Home. Love. Commitment.”
The author’s overall proposition of composing a life
using improvisation is intriguing. However, I feel in
doing this she tries to assert that it is okay to
justify any cognitive dissonance we chance to feel
over any of our personal perceived wrong-doing or
failure by choosing to re-define what is wrong, or
what is failure. Thus, she seems to suggest it’s okay
to compose a life that is self-centered, self-serving
and self-gratifying where external obligations,
traditional or personal ideals and commitments can be
changed on a whim. Improvisation can be a necessary
component in composing life, but I believe there are
ideals, traditional values, and responsibilities that
should not be compromised or ignored. Accepting the
consequences of ones actions are the hallmark of
freedom of choice.
Pg6 “In fact, assumptions about careers are not unlike
those about marriage; the real success stories are
supposed to permanent and monogamous.”
In realizing that due to circumstances beyond our
personal control, personal ideals about career and
marriage do not always meet our expectations. This is
absolutely no reason to abandon an ideal about
marriage, or career. Nor is it any reason to abstain
from teaching our children traditional family ideals
that are the fabric of a successful society and a
successful, fulfilling life.
Pg9 “We must invest time and passion in specific goals
and yet at the same time acknowledge that these are
mutable.” To me, the flavor surrounding this concept
seems to suggest it’s okay to find a cop-out, and
break a personal commitment. I think this is
dangerous thinking if the commitment involves those
who are close to you.
I dashed through the middle chapters that followed
life's journey of 5 different woman. These woman are
not Jane Doe's of society, and lived very unique
lives. The stories are told retrospectively, and they
kind of plod along through the chapters (ala Ernest
Hemmingway). I found them hard to follow at times
without more careful reading. As a result, I found it
difficult as a reader to share their experiences. The
author also occasionally interjects personal
perspectives, which disturbed me a little. I found
myself more wanting to share in their stories without
methodically being forced to analyze and find
meaningful purposes for both their unfortunate and
intentional events.
The concluding chapters wrap up in the twilight-ish
period of the woman's lives, where the author displays
her almost finished portraits of their lives and then
uses them in the exercise to create the portrait of
her own life. I think there is much that is inspiring
and uplifting about the book. The greatest lesson I
learned is that if you understand the different and
changing roles you play, your dynamic commitments, and
evolving and de-volving priorities, you can find ways
to work within them to find self-fulfillment and you
can achieve altruistic or life-long ambitions, and
these things do not have to be accepted as repressive
limitations in the big "portrait" of your life.
But, like much in entertainment media these days, you
get the bad with the good. I felt the conclusions of
the author exemplify the current attititude of
post-modernism, where the universe revolves around the
rights of the individual. Her attitude in the book
comes across as anti-establishment, anti-authority,
and anti-religion. Though post-modernistic ideals are
popular in society today, I believe many are an
obvious illness to our society and culture.
Sometimes I felt the author blurred the consequences
of misfortune along with those that the character's
brought on themselves. As if it's okay to do wrong,
exercise poor judgment, or offend those around you
then toss away remorse as long as you gain experience,
insight, or some personal growth or advancement. One
VERY obvious thing I think the author failed to point
out in her intensive study of her process of finding
one's self: I believe the 5 woman in the book truly
found themselves when they weren't looking for it or
pursuing it. The most pleasing aspects of their
life-portraits were detailed at those times when they
were completely caught up in serving those around
them.
Overall, I cannot recommend this book.